Monday, January 08, 2007


I know that some of you are praying and wondering how things are going. Thank you for the prayers and emails I appreciate them.

Grandma is receiving a feeding tube today through her stomache, and according to Social Services will be transfer to a 24/7 facility sometime this week. Since there are no beds available anywhere we have to wait and see which facility will accept her. She is in a state that she can't walk, talk, chew, swallow or even knows who we are, but yet she's hanging on. At 94 she's still fighting, I can't explain it, we all have ask each other why, but only she and God knows why. I guess that her state will be long term and we have to accept what we cannot change or understand.

Well I haven't done any knitting, looming, well especially no looming since the shawl that is on there now was the one I was weaving specifically for my grandma. I look at it every nite and wish I have the heart to take it down or finish, but I just star at it. I've never been so out of whack in my life, everything is disorganized, in disarray that I just sit there helpless. I think this is depression, I don't really know, I've never had it. I feel guilty for being so useless, but then I really don't care either. I have been back to work with minimal effort, and going through the motions at home I seem dazed.

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