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Monday, January 24, 2011

The best laid plans always go bust

I had a plan for Saturday that was until my mom called me. Her hair is starting to fall out, not just a few strands here and there noooooo.... in freaking clumps. She was so depressed by the time I got to the house, my heart ached just seeing it. I knew it would happen was even expecting it, but really you not prepared no matter how much you picture it. I spent a good few hours with her, talking, laughing, crying it was soul cleansing. I took her my Ruana and a pair of knitted socks for the next treatment on Thursday, I plan on taking Friday off just to hang at the house with her for the day.

I got home and didn't feel like doing anything other than knitting her a hat, I wanted something soft for her head and decided on Caron Simply Soft paints, she's also sensitive to wool . I got this great colorway called Spring Brook, greens, blues, teal very flowing. (blogger is not letting me post pics today, hopefully tomorrow). I'm almost finished with it and if she likes it I"ll knit her another one, since she has three more treatments to go.

This my friends is a true test of faith, it's hard, it's heart wrenching and has me crying at the thought of what she's going through. If you knew me personally you'd know I'm not the crying type, I usually breakdown after the fact, pillar of strength through the hard bits of life, but this........ I just can't explain.

8 comments:

Spinning Out of Control said...

I'm so sorry. Serious illness and physical problems just take little bits of your soul away. It is heart breaking, especially when it's your mom. My prayers are with her.

Delighted Hands said...

I know what you mean, I am usually strong until it is over, too, but this is not going to be over soon so pace yourself. The crying was good for both of you. Will remember to pray for you. The hat sounds like a good idea on several levels.

Acorn to Oak said...

Your mom and you are in my thoughts and prayers. I know the hat will be beautiful and filled with love.

Pandula Arts Creations said...

I went through the Breast cancer scare a few months ago. At the same time the mammogram came back funky so did the pap smear. I go for that again tomorrow. I feel her pain, I was fortunate, but scared to death.

I watched both of my parents fight cancer at the same time. They died 4 mnths and 11 days apart. I feel your pain also.

Hang in there, she needs you now more than ever. Cry when you need to, sometimes it does help.

I wish I had some wise old words to give you...can't think of a one. We will all be sending out best thoughts or prayers or whatever it is we can to you and your mother.

fibresofbeing said...

I'm so sorry to hear what your mother and you are facing. My mum is now a 2-year breast cancer survivor. Her's was less aggressive, so after the surgery she didn't need radiation and then the ongoing chemo caused blood clotting problems so she opted out.

It's very hard as our parents age and we become the caregivers. Be gentle and caring to yourself as you support her.
Very best wishes to you both.
Judy

Judy said...

I'm so sorry that your Mom is going through this. It must be tough on you, too, being there for her, but having to watch her go through what she's enduring. What a blessing for your Mom to have you there to support her.

The hat that you're knitting sounds wonderful and having something soft and colorful to wear will help.

Sorry for what both of you are going through....

Peg Cherre said...

My heart goes out to you and Mom. Laugh, cry, be together. This, too, shall pass.

Leigh said...

What a heartbreak for your mom, and you. What a blessing to have you close enough to be there for her. And to be able to knit her a hat! Prayers and blessings to you Bety, and to your mom.